Vilma Reynoso

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3 Simple Ways to Set Your Heart on Fire and Why it Matters

I love coffee shops! I love what I see and find in them: people conversing, reading, writing, sharing, laughing, creating, enjoying, loafing around and day dreaming. We need more of this in this very troubled world, don’t we? Yesterday, in one of my favorite hometown coffee shops, I experienced three things that touched my heart, and frankly, made my day! After having experienced these three things, I realized how important it is for all of us to experience them. Why? Because a heart on fire makes for a much-needed, kinder and more compassionate world! So, without further ado, here they are:

Make eye contact with people. Making eye contact makes the other person feel important and acknowledged. It tells them that they matter, that their presence is important. We all want to know and feel that we matter to others, even to strangers.

As I was entering and exiting the coffee shop today, several people made eye contact with me. It was simple and non-invasive. It was as if they told me, “Hey, good to know you are alive; we are both here, at this coffee shop, doing our own thing, and that is okay.” It was a simple nod that made me feel like I was acknowledged and that I mattered.

Give someone you don’t know a compliment. When we compliment someone, it is more about us than about the other person. It is giving without expectation, and when we do that, we always benefit. You know the old saying, “It is better to give than to receive?” Well, not to sound cliché, but it is true: when we give, we feel something good, and that “good” is what this world desperately needs.

After time well spent at the coffee shop, I decided to get something to eat at a nearby restaurant. As I was walking to my table, a woman very unexpectedly complimented my outfit. I have to admit that I was thrown for a loop! I thanked her and smiled. Her kind gesture put a smile in my heart not only on my face. I felt acknowledged and that I mattered.

Tell someone what they mean to you. Everyone wants to know that they mean something to others. If you know someone who has positively affected your life in one way or another (even in a small manner), please tell them! We all want to know that what we do for others makes a difference to them. When we make a difference to someone else, we feel complete and feel that our purpose on this planet is fulfilled. Telling someone they made a difference to us is simple. You can send an email, a note, a text, or make a phone call. What is important is that you let them know how pleased you are with them.

Today, during my time at the coffee shop, a friend emailed me to tell me I had made a significant difference in her life. I was a bit shocked to hear this because I had no idea! I was so happy that she had taken the time to tell me because it made me feel like I mattered and lit up my heart.

If everyone would do these three things every day, our world would be changed almost instantaneously! Just imagine it. There would be no time for bouts of anger, unrelenting fear, despair, racism gone wild, injustice, oppression of all kinds, tyranny and unnecessary wars. The world would be transformed! We would all feel like we mattered, we would all feel acknowledged, and we would never doubt our worth and purpose in each other’s lives. Planet Earth would see a transformation starting with each person.

So, if you are like me and love to hang out at the coffee house, try these three things and observe how much better you feel.  Heck, even if you are not like me and hate coffee shops, try these things wherever you are! Set your heart and someone else’s heart on fire. Do it because you matter and it matters.

© 2015, Vilma Reynoso, vilmareynoso.comInspiration for Abundant Living for all Beings from One Creative Being


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Not in a Relationship? Six Healthy Ways to Love Yourself on Valentine’s Day‏

Valentine’s Day can bring up a lot of difficult feelings for some of us. Here is an article I wrote in 2013 that is still pertinent today. I am passing it on today in hopes that it will help someone who is hurting. Have a beautiful weekend.

Vilma Reynoso

It is that time again. It is that day we celebrate love and romance with chocolate, roses and commercialized, elaborate gifts to show our love and appreciation for that special person in our lives. For some of us, Valentine’s Day is a dreadful reminder of what we perceive we lack or what we desire and do not have. If you are one of those people who is not involved in a romantic relationship or are recovering from a recent break up on this special day, before you throw away the towel, grab that third glass of wine, or head to the nearest movie theater alone with mounds of candy and popcorn to pass the inevitable Valentine’s Day blues, here are some healthy tips and truths about how to love yourself on this special day:

1.  Realize and accept that you are unique and whole.

You are a special and unique…

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Not in a Relationship? Six Healthy Ways to Love Yourself on Valentine’s Day‏

It is that time again. It is that day we celebrate love and romance with chocolate, roses and commercialized, elaborate gifts to show our love and appreciation for that special person in our lives. For some of us, Valentine’s Day is a dreadful reminder of what we perceive we lack or what we desire and do not have. If you are one of those people who is not involved in a romantic relationship or are recovering from a recent break up on this special day, before you throw away the towel, grab that third glass of wine, or head to the nearest movie theater alone with mounds of candy and popcorn to pass the inevitable Valentine’s Day blues, here are some healthy tips and truths about how to love yourself on this special day:

1.  Realize and accept that you are unique and whole.

You are a special and unique human being who is loveable and whole. You are a combination of all your past experiences, your beliefs, your personality, and your thoughts. Having a special person in your life is an added benefit to your existence as a human being on this planet. Although humans long companionship with other humans, having that special someone is not a necessity to feel loving and secure or to enjoy your life with fervor and gratitude. If you are feeling lonely or sad from a recent break up, that is a normal response. You are feeling this way because you miss the familiarity of that relationship. However, it is possible you have not learned to love yourself first. How do you love yourself first? See below.

2. Do not worry about finding the love of your life.

The best way to find that special person or soul mate is to stop looking for him or her. Instead, focus on what you love to do and do it! Focus on being who you are. Focus on you. When you express yourself to the world through your work and your hobbies, it is inevitable that you will inadvertently attract that special love that you seek. For some of us, this happens quickly. For others, it might take some time. The point is to stop chasing after love because when we do that, it eludes us. When we stop trying to control love, it comes to us.

3. Take up a new hobby.

There is nothing more satisfying than discovering a new endeavor to get lost in! Do you feel bored or lonely after your heartbreak? The reason you feel lonely could be because you are missing the companionship of the relationship that just ended. Why not try something new? Is it time to take up golf lessons that you have been wanting to learn for the last decade? Is it time to learn how to crochet? It might be time to step out of your comfort zone. Try it. You will steer your mind towards something expressive, creative, new, and stimulating. Learning a new craft, hobby or activity will help you feel alive and change your thoughts to healthier and happier ones.

4. Make time to help others.

The old saying that giving is better than receiving is true! Have you ever donated your time to a charity or an organization you feel passionate about? Have you ever spent time with someone who is less fortunate who might need some simple help? There are plenty of nonprofit organizations who could use your help. You do not need to “have it together” to donate your time and love. No one does. You do not have to be an expert to volunteer your time with love. What do you like to do? Do you like horses or animals? How about volunteering to help groom horses or walk dogs in shelters. Do you enjoy office work? Volunteer to organize office paperwork or answer phones for your local food bank. There are endless possibilities! Helping others helps you connect with your community and not feel so lonely or isolated. When you donate your time and talents to help others, you cannot help but feel good. Volunteering might also lead you to something that might change your life. For a list of places who need your help, visit: http://www.volunteermatch.org/

5. Spend time getting to know yourself. 

How many of us spend all our waking hours in service to others? Although I am a proponent of being in service to others daily, I also believe it is just as important for our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health to spend time with ourselves, especially after the recent ending of a special relationship. Have you taken the time to know who you really are? Do you know what makes you come alive or what makes you smile? The only way to discover this is to spend time alone (yes, as scary as that sounds for some of us!) nourishing your spirit, mind and emotions. Take long walks. Read or listen to a book on tape that stimulates your mind or your emotions. Feel your pain and cry. Listen to music you love. Play the piano. Spend time trying new hobbies and new activities. Spend time with people who love you unconditionally. Every day, be thankful for how far you have come, and with joyful anticipation, imagine your life as you want it to be. You will then start to heal your heart, your mind, your emotions and your spirit.

6. Love the people in your life right now.

Love is not only for those who are in a relationship. Love should be celebrated every day, every moment. You are a loving being who when expresses love will invite more love into your life.  You do not have to buy an elaborate gift to show someone you love them. Believe it or not, you still can give love even with a broken heart! When is the last time you told your children you love them, your mother, or your niece? Why not call an old friend and shoot the breeze? How about spending twenty minutes playing with your dog? Love can and should be expressed daily, and when it is expressed, it brings us much needed joy. Valentine’s Day is only a reminder of the love all around us. It is a reminder to love ourselves first so we could then love others abundantly!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Vilma Reynoso, www.vilmareynoso.comInspiration for Creative Health. Abundant Life.

Copyright, 2013, Vilma Reynoso


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Reflections on Mom and Mother’s Day

It is an atypical, gloomy Mother’s Day in my part of the world today, but my spirit is feeling content and peaceful. I am a mother; I have a precious child that I have been given to help walk through life to the best of my ability. However, today, like any other Mother’s Day, I  am thinking of my own mom, who, more than any other person in my life, has made the biggest imprint on my heart.

Mom was one of the most giving and selfless persons I have ever known – perhaps to her detriment. She was in ill health almost the entire short sixteen years I had with her. Despite not feeling well most of the time, she gave and gave. Her creative talent was sewing and decorating; every Halloween, my brother and sister and I would have the best costumes in the neighborhood, created from scratch by her. We always had good food, warm clothes, and a cozy bed to sleep in; she took excellent care of us when we were sick, laying at our bed sides and making sure we were as comfortable as possible. She baked girl scout cookies, helped us with school projects, made an effort to be involved in our lives as much as possible. She made our home a beautiful place that in every corner demonstrated without any doubt her fabulous, creative side. She was also a wonderful wife. However, despite all the above, what I remember the most was how she suffered, and as a result, at times, was not the most loving mother. As I became an independent and very curious young adult, I could not understand Mom’s suffering and bad behavior. However, now, as a mother myself, I have come to realize how difficult life must have been for her.

Mom’s life ended while I was in high school one evening after collapsing two weeks earlier from a stroke-induced coma. She had not learned to love herself and take physical, emotional and spiritual care for herself first, so she could best love others. She carried everyone else’s burdens in her body, spirit, and mind. It caught up to her eventually, as it does with everyone, and her life came to an abrupt halt when I least expected it. My mom taught me that life is precious, that every moment counts. Every day counts. Every thought and action counts and will spur on love or fear and destruction. It is really that simple.

Today, as a mom, I am living simply. I gave my daughter a massage, a manicure, a pedicure, and fixed her hair in a French braid. It is the first time I ever did all this at the same time for her, and other than the time it is taking me to write and post this blog, we are spending the rest of the day together with no distractions – no TV, internet, I-pod or any other twenty-first century time-consumers. She was delighted and especially loved  spending time with her mom! I probably enjoyed it more than she did, because I remember how much I longed for my mother to spend this kind of time with me. As a working mom now, I know how difficult it can be to find time to spend with our children, and my mom did her best with what she knew. We all do what we know to do, and that is all we can do. What is important is implementing new ideas and strategies when we learn them and focusing on what is most important – time with our children.

So, I’ve learned many lessons from my mom. I suppose the most important one being the love for a child is beyond anything I can explain, and the limited time we have with our children together is priceless. I am going to make each moment I have with my gift count. It is time to spread the love and wisdom Mom bestowed upon me to my daughter.

Thanks, Mom.

Vilma Reynoso, www.vilmareynoso.comInspiration for Creative Health. Abundant Life.

Copyright, 2012, Vilma Reynoso