Today was the day I was supposed to have finished my first marathon – 26.2 miles – and I couldn’t help but reflect on that fact on this beautiful Sunday in May. It seems this was not the year for me to do this. Part of me is very competitive (with myself) and I could not even imagine forgoing running this race when I made the decision to do it last Dec. I had found a perfect training schedule to follow that fit my schedule very well. I had been following it for months, starting in Jan of this year until I injured my right calf running a 10-mile race in mid-Feb. Knowing that this injury would set me back a few weeks at least, I was upset but still determined to go for it and run the marathon. However, it seems that life decided to throw a new twist into my little world.
Since I could not run for about three weeks, I decided I would start a detox cleanse during that time. The fasting went well, but, as it turns out, was the beginning of more cleansing to come. As is indicative of the body detoxifying itself, I have not felt on top of my game or as well as I usually feel since then, so I never did get caught up with the training I needed to do to prepare for the marathon. Over the last few months as I thought about the fact that I was not running and training like I should have been and wanted to, I concluded that my health was more important and discovered that this year, 2012, is my year of deep cleansing on the physical, emotional, and spiritual level. I have been fasting, juicing, and cleansing my body since that injury occurred in Feb. I also believe the injury happened to deter me from running and propel me to cleanse myself instead. I have no regrets. Sometimes life throws curve balls at us. Sometimes, things just do not happen for a good reason. Sometimes, we just need to accept it and not try to change it or control it. Sometimes, we just need to know that the Divine is trying to teach us something different, perhaps something we NEED and not something we THINK we want.
As I have mentioned, I am very competitive with myself, and it took an injury (I couldn’t walk for a week without pain) to get my complete attention. I have learned throughout my full life that the unexpected can be a blessing in disguise, that life is meant to be lived and experienced; and, there are some events or circumstances we must embrace; the difficult experiences do teach us if we are open to experiencing them fully. I believe my time to run my first 26.2 miles is coming in the future. Right now, I cannot say when, but I know, for now, I am listening to the still, small voice that tells me healing is what this time in my life is about, not running.
It is said when one runs a marathon, every last bit of energy, strength, focus, power, and determination is used, especially during the last six miles. I am a runner. I have run many races – the farthest distance being a half marathon, 13.1 miles. But today, I am embracing a new, more important race, a different and more satisfying “marathon.”
So be it.